


You Get What You Need

by JustNeededAUsername



Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: All love, Cartson, F/M, Fluff, Romance, discovering feelings, no case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25879801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustNeededAUsername/pseuds/JustNeededAUsername
Summary: No love is perfect. Which makes it perfect.
Relationships: Peggy Carter & Jack Thompson, Peggy Carter/Jack Thompson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 24





	1. If It's Worth Saving Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> This is my second fanfic. I thought the first one was tough, but this was definitely the terrible two. My muse left me multiple times in the making of this fic but she finally returned and finished what she started, though the ending might be a bit forced. It is quite different from the first and has much less of a plot. It is more like a small series of one shots telling a story, without much content but a bit of character development. 
> 
> It takes place right after the ending of season 2 but completely disregards all cliff-hangers (My first fanfic tries to close all the gaps, so if you were looking for something like that, you could try to look it up: Agent Carter – A Plausible Ending).
> 
> I am honestly not as happy with this one as with the first but I still think it has some good parts, and also some funny scenes as well. I think it speaks to the unicorns-puppies-and-rainbows part of me, but that doesn’t really fit with the Agent Carter Universe, so I apologize if it is a bit out of character.
> 
> Please enjoy :)
> 
> P.S. of course I do not own Agent Carter. If I did, it would be running on its 11th season :) Plus, most chapter titles are borrowed from song titles or lyrics – no copy right infringement intended on that part either, just love the songs (See credits in afterword)!
> 
> UPDATE 2018.07.23: I don’t know if anyone is notified when I update existing chapters, but I have just read this story again and found a lot of spelling errors that I decided to correct. No changes to the story, just spelling.
> 
> UPDATE 2020.09.22: Apparently, I cannot read an old fanfic without making some updates/corrections. Again, no changes to the story.

At first, it was like waking from a dream. Somewhere in the undefinable darkness, he could start feeling himself again. Images started flashing, though nothing was tangible. _Bang. Bang_. Rifle. Gun. _Bang. Bang_. Bodies on the ground. Please no. Wait. Only one body. And not on the ground, on the floor. Him on the floor? White. Red. It was uncomfortable. He tried to get away but he was too caught up in the darkness. _Bang. Bang_. Was someone shooting? _Bang. Beep_. Wait? What? The sound was changing and getting closer. _Beep. Beep_. Faster. _Beep-Beep-Beep_. Closer. He had to get away from this. Whatever it was. Away. Away. _Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep_.

Light.

He opened his eyes and escaped the darkness. Almost. It was still dark and unclear but not pitch black. But the sound was still there. He couldn’t help the panic rising in his chest. He tried to grab at something to hold on to, feeling like drowning, only to be overflooded by pain in his chest.

“Jack! Calm down.”

His name sounded above the beeping. A familiar voice. A hand on his shoulder, guiding his eyes to the left.

“Jack, stay still. You are hurt. You are in the hospital. You have to calm down.”

Jack looked into the worried yet stern eyes of Peggy Carter. He listened to her words though still not understanding. He leaned back down, realising he was in a bed, a white blanket covering his body from the chest and down. His clothes were not his own. A hospital shirt.

“Cart…” He tried to speak but was stopped by his dry throat. He tried to cough some life into his voice but was again stopped by that unfamiliar pain in his chest.

Carter quickly grabbed a glass of water from a nearby table and helped him drink from it.

“Don’t speak too much yet, Jack. You need to relax.”

Ignoring her plea, he finished his question; “What happened?”

“You got shot. Don’t you remember?” Carter explained shortly as she put the glass away. As Jack didn’t answer, she continued: “You have been through hours of surgery and have been unconscious for two days.”

The pictures from his dreamlike state started reappearing to him, but clearer.

“Yeah… Right,” He said vaguely.

“Don’t force it,” Carter said reassuringly, “It will come back in time.”

“Yeah…” Jack sighed absentmindedly, looking around, trying to make sense of everything.

Carter got up from her chair, saying: “I will go get the doctor so he can check up on you. I’ll be right back.”

As she left the room, Jack looked at the instruments around him. By the number of them, he must be in pretty bad shape. His eyes lingered at the green line outlining his pulse, giving a reassuring beep every time his heart beat. His heart beat had brought him back. But it had also been gun shots. Both him shooting someone and… him being shot. Two horrible memories intertwined.

Suddenly, he couldn’t take it anymore. The pain. The not knowing. He ripped the hospital shirt open only to be met with a white gauze across his chest. It was thicker at one point. Right by his heart.

It had been close.

His memories flashed again. Him shooting. Him shot.

Why was he still alive?

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy had been staring at the same sentence over and over again. No matter how many times she tried to read it, it did not stick with her mind. She looked up, through the window, into the dark, starless night.

When they had received a call that Jack had been shot, they had rushed to the hospital. As soon as they knew that he was going to make it, they had established a duty roster, always an agent at the door and always an agent at his bedside. She had been very clear regarding the few agents that were allowed as the bedside watch. Rose, Daniel and herself. The only ones she trusted in the foreign office. Surprisingly, Daniel had let her take command of the situation. Or maybe, _she_ had not let _him_ take charge. For some reason that gave her unnerving weird feeling in her stomach that she couldn’t decipher.

Jack had picked one hell of a time to get shot. One moment she was kissing Daniel, his warm hands on her back and her arms around his neck. The next they were standing in the cold halls of the hospital, looking into the blinding white of an operating room. Quite the mood killer.

The doctors said that he would be okay, if only he would wake up soon. And now it had been two days. She was worried. Very worried.

She walked to the window, looking out on the city skyline. A few windows were still lit around in the hospital buildings and in the houses close to the hospital. The sky was dark and the clouds were hanging low, black and grey. Rain would fall soon.

She had been caught in her own thoughts but suddenly realised the faster beeps behind her. As she turned, Jack was twitching but still seemed to be unconscious. She had not even heard his movements over her own thoughts.

A quiet but pleading ‘ _no’_ escaped his lips and his eyes suddenly opened. Peggy hurried to his side.

“Jack! Calm down,” She tried demanding. For a moment she considered shouting at him. Not only because he seemed to be in distress, wherever he was in his mind, but also because he risked reopening his wounds.

“Jack, stay still. You are hurt. You are in the hospital. You have to calm down,” She added soothingly.

He looked as if he tried to focus on her, but his eyes kept moving around to their surroundings, trying to clarify the situation, as any agent would. He was clearly confused. She opened her mouth to explain, but was cut off as Jack tried to speak her name, only to end up coughing. She quickly gave him some water.

“Don’t speak too much yet, Jack. You need to relax,” She was almost surprised by how concerned she sounded. She wanted to know everything he knew about the shooting. Just enough to go find whoever did this and do something practical for the first time in two days. To be frank, she needed something that she could punch.

But she knew she couldn’t do that yet. Jack needed to be safe first. For some reason, it was more important to see his stupid grin again. Then she could go catch whoever did this.

Jack being Jack, he ignored her plea and spoke anyway; “What happened?”

“You got shot. Don’t you remember?” She really needed him to stop trying to move, so when he stayed silent, she added; “You have been through hours of surgery and have been unconscious for two days.”

Peggy saw some of the confusion leaving his eyes, some clarity reaching him.

“Yeah… Right,” He said vaguely.

She could hear that he did not want to go into detail. Not yet. But it was a good sign. She decided not to push the matter. He had been awake for two minutes after two days of unconsciousness. The important thing was that he was awake.

“Don’t force it,” She said, “It will come back in time.”

“Yeah…” Jack sighed, probably more to himself than to her.

He looked around, at the instruments and himself in the bed.

Peggy considered saying something else, something reassuring, but decided that she at least had to try to keep it professional. She had to remember that Jack was still her pain-in-the-arse boss. Even though she had started considering him a bit more than that after the zero-matter case, she could not let herself appear weak in front of him. She could not have him using that against her when he got back to his normal smug self.

Instead she stood and said: “I will go get the doctor so he can check up on you. I’ll be right back.”

When she walked out the door, the agent placed outside stood alert from his chair.

“Chief Thompson is awake. Please get the doctor,” She said firmly as she closed the door behind her.

“Yes Ma’am,” The agent said, clearly relieved by the news, before quickly leaving down the hall.

Once alone, Peggy leaned against the closed door. For a moment she allowed the weakness to take over her. She let out a deep breath and let her tired head rest in her hands. She let relief rush over her body.

She had lost plenty. She did not deserve to lose Jack too.


	2. Listen to the Rain

Peggy stood by the window. It had been pouring ever since Jack woke up the previous evening. The streets were covered by umbrellas, almost so much that the morning commuters who had forgotten their umbrellas were covered by those who had not.

There was only an hour left of her shift. She was tired, emotionally more than physically.

When she had re-entered the room with the doctor, they had found Jack staring at his chest. Obviously, her words had not hit him as hard as seeing the damage for himself. There had been something unspoken in his eyes, but only for a moment. When he realized that he had company, he had sent them a weak smile and just said _“What’s up, doc?”_

The doctor had handled it well, taking Jack through the procedure they had performed and how well he was doing considering the circumstances. Jack had been silent through most of it, only making a few bad jokes along the way.

The doctor had cleared Jack, for now at least.

Lastly, the doctor had given him a new dose of pain medication which had quickly made him fall asleep.

Peggy had not even tried to read the book again. She had just sat in the chair, watching Jack or watching the continuous drops of water streaming down the window.

“Anything interesting out there?” A sleepy, rough voice asked from behind her.

Peggy turned to see Jack watching her from the bed.

“How long have you been awake?” She asked, ignoring his question.

“A minute or two,” He admitted.

Peggy smiled at that.

“How are you feeling?” She asked.

“I think, I really, really like the morphine,” He said with a weak smile.

“Are you in pain?” She asked, just to be sure.

“Not if I stay still,” He answered, again with a wry smile.

“Then you just have to stay still,” Peggy answered, and she couldn’t help the smile in her voice, knowing very well how hard it was going to be for him.

“You are enjoying this a bit too much,” He huffed.

“I’m not enjoying this at all,” She said seriously.

He looked a bit surprised at her. Not that he had expected her to enjoy the state he was in, but there was something about the way she said it that gave him a swirling feeling in his stomach. Or maybe it was just the meds.

“You were worried about me, Carter?” He asked.

“Of course, I was!” Peggy exclaimed, disbelievingly.

“Huh….” Was all Jack could answer.

They were silent for a moment, Peggy not knowing what else to say, still wanting to keep it at a professional level. However, Jack quickly made her forget about that; “Why?”

The little question was just the fuel for her frustrations.

“What do you mean “why”?” She snapped, “Do you really think that we don’t care about you? That I don’t? We have been watching over you since you got shot. We have barely slept, looking after you and trying to find out who did this to you. And you have the audacity to imply that we don’t care?”

Jack looked away with a sense of indifference, and that’s when the truth dawned on Peggy; “You think this is all just because you’re an SSR Chief?”

The way that Jack avoided looking at her, only his lips tightening in response, told Peggy that she was right. She stepped up to the bed and put her hand on his shoulder, making him look at her.

“Jack, I already told you; You are a good man. We all make bad decisions believing that they are the right ones. That doesn’t mean we are all bad or that we deserve to die.”

“You know damn well that ‘bad decisions’ don’t cover what I have done. I don’t deser-“ His voice broke, not able to voice what his thoughts had been the moment he had seen the wound on his chest.

But Peggy heard him.

“Don’t think like that, Jack. You have done so much good since then. And you will keep doing good. The world needs people like you, so get your head out of your arse and get better.”

Jack smiled at her last remark. The sound of the rain filled the room as Peggy took a seat beside the bed again.

It was funny how this woman could make him feel so angry and frustrated at times, and yet, once in a while, feel so very good.


	3. And Ask Me Your Questions

The duty roaster kept rolling. Rose would take day shifts, Daniel evening shifts and Peggy night shifts. It was mostly based on practicality as Daniel had to run the L.A. office during the day, and Peggy had preferred the nights, mainly because she thought of them as high risk.

Peggy and Daniel had tried to spend time together, mainly meeting for lunches or spending time together with Jack in the evenings, but it was hard to find time and energy to just be themselves and try to build on their blooming relationship.

Jack still slept most of the time due to the medicine, but had come to the point where he could take small walks around his room.

“Could you open the window?” Jack asked.

“Sure,” Peggy got up and let in the warm summer night.

“I’m telling you, Carter. I can’t wait to get out of here. These sheets are suffocating me,” Jack admitted.

“You can walk around now. You will be out running in no time,” Peggy tried to encourage him.

“Yeah,” Jack answered resignedly while kicking his leg under the sheets, obviously running out of patience.

Peggy fully understood him. It was not like she had been staying in bed when her stomach had been penetrated by an iron bar. It wasn’t in the nature of an agent to stay down.

Suddenly Peggy got up from her seat and was about the leave the room. Just before opening the door she turned to Jack with a mirthful smile on her face and said: “Don’t go anywhere.”

“That’s just mean, Marge!” Jack called after her.

Jack let out a frustrated grunt. The days were all the same. Rose-Daniel-Peggy-Rose-Daniel-Peggy. The only spice in his daytime was the occasional visit by the doctor or nurses. He quite enjoyed the visits from the nurses, most of them being impressed with him being a Chief of the SSR and a war hero. Though that last one reminded him of things that he would rather forget. Still, he played along, not wanting any of the medical staff or Rose or Daniel to know about it.

It was different at night. He could talk to Peggy and he didn’t even have to say much for her to understand. He would never admit it, but he tried to sleep more during the day just to be more awake at night. Right now, Peggy Carter was his only piece of normalcy. She had been worried to begin with but as soon as she was sure that he was going to make it, she had started treating him like she would any other day. They didn’t have to talk. They could just make snarky and snappy remarks at each other. It was awfully wonderful.

The door reopened, and through it came Peggy, pushing a wheelchair.

“What the...?”

“The doctor will not let you take long walks yet because of your stiches. But he has not forbidden you from sitting. So, let’s go for a stroll,” Peggy said.

“You want _me_ to let _you_ wheel me around in _that_?” Jack asked sceptically.

“It’s in the middle of the night. No one will see, and you will get some fresh air,” Peggy stated and padded the handle of the chair.

Jack still looked sceptically at her.

“I don’t know when they will miss this chair, Jack,” Peggy was running out of patience, “So, going once… Going twice…”

“Yeah, yeah, just get me out of here,” Jack put his pride aside and followed his need to get out of these four walls.

He carefully slipped out of the bed and into the chair. Peggy grabbed one of the sheets to cover his bare legs and then quickly wheeled him out of the room.

“Where is the hall agent?” Jack asked when he found them alone in the hall.

“Getting coffee. In the diner outside the hospital. For an hour,” Peggy explained while as quickly and silently as possible guiding Jack down the halls and into the lift.

When they reached the ground floor, Peggy took a back door out in the fresh air. Jack couldn’t help taking a deep, audible breath when the night air hit him. Breathing in deep hurt but it was worth it.

Peggy wheeled him to the middle of a small hospital garden, and Jack let his head fall back, looking at the stars in the almost clear sky. Peggy followed suits and looked up to the sky as well.

“I didn’t take you for the kind of girl to take guys out on long walks under the stars,” Jack smiled at her.

“No…” Peggy said in a low voice and suddenly a thought struck her, and she decided to voice it, “But I like watching the stars. During the war, the better nights were the nights around a bonfire. For a moment we could just sit there, talk about home and watch the stars, as if we were just out camping. As if people were not dying around us every second.”

“Like we did in Russia?” Jack asked, making Peggy look down at him.

“Yes, like in Russia.”

“Yeah, I noticed that you looked a lot more comfortable there than in the office,” Jack looked away.

Though Jack stated it as a fact, Peggy noticed the question hidden in his remark.

“I have more history with 107th than with anyone in the office,” Peggy stated, “And unlike the office, they only judged me by my actions and not by my gender. I miss that.”

They silently watched the stars a little longer.

“We better get back in,” Peggy said, taking the handles of the wheelchair, but when she pushed the chair, Jack grabbed the wheels and stopped her.

“Jack, what…?”

“Are we really that bad? Have we… treated you that bad?” He asked almost in a whisper, looking down so Peggy couldn’t see his face.

“Jack, we have to get back in,” Peggy avoided his questions, but by doing so also answered them.

Jack held on to the wheels a bit longer, then let go, and let Peggy wheel him back towards the building. Before they entered the building, he stopped her again, making sure that she could hear him clearly; “Thanks for taking me out here, Peggy,”

Peggy smiled; “My pleasure.”


	4. Do You Need Anybody?

Jack had been getting a lot better and was starting to walk around some more, though he still got tired quickly. With the new energy, he was starting to get even more restless, clearly not used to being bedridden for this long.

Having gained his strength, he had also become much more… Jack, again. Peggy was happy to have the old Jack back. Most of the time.

Peggy had pulled a double shift in order to be here for the doctor’s visit this morning. The doctor had told him that, in theory, he could go home, but they did not feel safe letting him get on an airplane yet due to the change of air pressure.

“Great! Get me a car, and I will cruise all my way home to good old New York,” Jack exclaimed, happy about the prospect of getting out of the hospital.

“I would recommend that you stay in Los Angeles for another month, both to rest and to let us follow up on your operation for just a bit longer,” the doctor interfered.

“So, get me a hotel. With a view of the beach, preferably,” Jack suggested. Clearly, his thoughts of the beach were not related to sunsets or the sound of the ocean.

“Doctor, could you give us a moment?” Peggy asked, earning a confused look from Jack.

The doctor nodded politely and left them.

“What now, Carter?” Jack asked.

“You will not be staying in a hotel. It is not safe with your assassin still on the lose,” Peggy stated.

“Where else should I be staying?” Jack asked, still confused.

Had Peggy and Jack been able to see the hall outside the room, they would have seen how the people passing the door looked curiously and worried at the loud voices from the room, and how the doctor politely smiled at them to ensure the surprised people that everything was alright.

“NO WAY!”

“You are not fit for flying! We still have to make sure that no one tries to kill you again! I agree that it will do you good to get out of the hospital, so this is the best solution!”

“I DON’T CARE! I am not moving into Howard Stark’s home!”

“Yes, you are! I have already prepared everything! Howard has the best security systems in the country and his premises are much easier to supervise than a publicly accessible hotel!”

“You cannot force me to live with that Casanova!”

“It is only for a couple of weeks until you are strong enough to travel home to New York. Anyway, Howard is out filming God-knows-where and will most likely not be back as long as you are there. So stop acting so childish and get ready to leave!”

“I am not accepting charity from that… guy!”

“Keeping you alive is not charity! This is me, trying to help your sorry arse, so shut the bloody hell up and get ready! We leave in ten minutes!”

Peggy stormed out of the room.

As she passed the people in the hall, everyone pretended as if they had not heard every word that had been spoken.

The doctor looked between Peggy and the closed door, not sure if he dared to enter to ask Jack to sign the release form.

Jack sat on his bed, thinking about what Peggy had just said. He really did not want any kind of help from Howard Stark. The man was an insufferable show-off. But he wanted to get out of the hospital. So bad. And he had to admit that Peggy had done everything she could to help and support him since he got shot. Now she had ensured him a place to stay. Probably a very nice place too.

“Doctor? I’m ready to sign out.”


	5. The Little Things Give You Away

It was good being out of the hospital. He could walk outside as he pleased, at least for as long as he could manage to stand, and though he would never admit it out loud, Jarvis was an amazing cook. He had been so caught up in the feeling of being trapped in the hospital bed, that he had completely overlooked how bad the hospital food was. Or maybe they had just kept him well medicated so he wouldn’t notice.

The only thing that hadn’t changed was that he was constantly being watched. The Rose-Daniel-Peggy routine had been upgraded to the Peggy-Peggy-Peggy routine. She was constantly following him around. Not necessarily standing next to him or doing whatever he was doing, but she would silently move behind him and stay in the same room as him.

The only exception was the few morning hours that she demanded that he spend under the watchful eyes of Jarvis and Ana, or an appointed agent if they were not available, while Peggy caught a little sleep. As if the SSR agents appointed around the house was not enough to keep him safe inside, or a possible assassin safely out. 

He didn’t understand why she had to overreact like this. Even if he couldn’t run, he could still shoot, which in his opinion was much more efficient anyway.

Still, he enjoyed spending time in the garden, getting some fresh air and some sun, even with Peggy luring in the background. He spent much of his time in a sunbed, reading a book and slowly emptying Stark’s excellent stock of bourbon.

Peggy would sit in the shadow, talking with Ana and Jarvis. He rarely joined them, not feeling like he belonged. It sometimes felt as if he was watching their lives as if it was a movie.

This day, Jarvis had decided to show Peggy his progress with his training.

“Don’t overdo it, Edwin dear,” Ana warned, worry mixed with joyful expectation.

“Don’t worry, dear. I am a professional,” Jarvis started warming up in his spandex.

“You really don’t have to show me, Mr. Jarvis. I am sure you have practiced very hard.” Peggy tried politely to talk her way out of the situation.

“That’s why I need to show you my progress, so you can see just how capable I will be on our next mission,” Jarvis walked up to the new, increased weight while clenching and unclenching his hands in anticipation.

“I have never doubted your capabilities during our missi-oh my goodness,” Peggy held a hand to her mouth as Mr. Jarvis lifted the weight above his head, not so much because she was impressed, but because it was a very comical sight.

Every muscle in Mr. Jarvis’ body was tense to the point of breaking and his face instantly turned red as a tomato under the exhaustion of the exercise.

“Looking good, Jarvis,” Jack called from his seat, also amused.

“No one asked for your opinion, Chief Thompson,” Jarvis answered through clenched teeth.

“Maybe you should put that back down,” Peggy urged, trying to reach for the bar to help ease it down.

“No, it is fine Miss Carter,” Jarvis said, though clearly under distress.

“Help!” A voice suddenly jelled from somewhere in the garden.

Mr. Jarvis instantly dropped the weight with an almost inaudible; “Thank God, saved by the bell.”

They all looked to the lawn, Peggy ready to run into action, when they saw an SSR agent running, with a flamingo on his tail.

“The flamingo has escaped again!” Ana exclaimed.

“Oh no,” Mr. Jarvis caught his breath and started running after the escaped bird while more or less gently calling for the poultry to stop.

Jack got up from his seat to have a better view of the action. It was quite the sight. First the agent, then the flamingo and lastly Mr. Jarvis.

“Chief, permission to shoot the bird?” The agent cried desperately.

“Not a chance!” Jack called back, too amused to let it end.

Mr. Jarvis made a jump for the flamingo but the pink bird escaped his attack. However, it stopped hunting the poor agent, as it became more important to avoid Mr. Jarvis.

Jack couldn’t help but to laugh heartily, even though his stiches pulled and he had to limit his chest movements though it wasn’t easy.

He suddenly realized that Peggy was standing beside him, just as caught up by the action in front of them and laughing just as heartily. He couldn’t remember ever seeing her laugh like this.

Peggy turned to Jack and they looked at each other. Jack looked more relaxed than ever and it seemed to take years off his face. He absentmindedly touched his chest.

“Does it hurt?” Peggy asked worried.

“It’s worth it,” He smiled back at her.

Not his usual wry smile, but a real smile that made it all the way to his eyes. A smile that you couldn’t help but to smile back at.

They turned back to the scene in front of them, just enjoying the carefree moment.


	6. You're the Pretender

Living in Howard Stark’s house was pretty nice. Jack could not remember ever having slept in a bed this soft, and he had definitely never had a butler before. Though Jarvis obviously disliked him – not that he could blame him after the interrogation in New York – he still treated him respectfully, as would be expected by a butler, except for the occasional sarcastic remark.

Jack probably did not make it easy either. Though he was getting quite comfortable in the luxurious surroundings, he didn’t want anyone to know, so he made some sarcastic remarks of his own.

Still, Peggy seemed to look right through him. Even if she did not say anything, he could see her disapproving looks when he made comments against Stark or his household, and it was mixed with a hint of disappointment, as if she knew better. And it bothered him.

He tried to avoid her but she kept insisting on following him around the house. Always in the corner of his eye, except for the couple of hours a day when she had to sleep. It was growing tiresome.

Talking about tired, he could tell that the lack of sleep was wearing on Peggy. She was trying not to show, and her spirit almost made up for her lack of energy, but he knew her well enough to know by now. Her fuse was definitely getting shorter by the day. So was his. It started feeling as if he had exchanged one cage for another.

One afternoon, they spent, as many others, launching in the library, reading from the large selection of Stark’s first editions. They were sitting on opposite sides of a book case, both needing to keep some distance to each other. They had already snapped at each other several times this day, and if looks could kill, Jack would have been dead and buried thrice by now.

Jack was counting the days for his next doctor’s visit, hoping that the doctor would clear him for flight home. He could fully walk and was off his medication. There had been no sign of the assassin and they were almost convinced that it was just a desperate attack on the SSR. So why did Peggy insist on playing his second shadow?

Suddenly, he heard a bump from Peggy’s side of the bookshelf.

“Marge?” He asked curiously but got no answer.

Not being able to focus on his book anyway, he rose from his seat and went around the bookcase. He expected to find Peggy reading and took a relaxing stance against the bookcase, ready to come up with a sarcastic remark to whatever had made the sound.

Instead he found Peggy sleeping, launching on a chase longue. Her book was laying on the floor next to her, obviously the source of the bump. He had never seen her sleeping before. He just stood there and watched her. Her face was softer and in a way more feminine, when she was not keeping up her tough façade.

He realized that his staring was becoming awkward and turned to leave, when Peggy made a sudden move, her face instantly worried and her muscles tightening. She moved again, this time a single whisper leaving her lips; “Michael.”

Whoever Michael was, he was not bringing sweet dreams to Peggy. She tossed and turned some more. Jack was debating whether to leave her alone or to wake her. What right did he have to interfere? But how could he just leave her to the nightmare?

Another toss and Jack went to her side, gently shaking her arm and whispering; “Peggy, wake up.”

His touch woke her immediately. She looked confused at him for a second before reality dawned upon her. She took in a breath and sat up straight, effectively pushing his hand away.

“I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep,” She said and stood, trying to get away from the situation.

“Happens to the best of us,” Jack said knowingly, sending her half a smile.

She smiled stiffly back, knowing what he was referring to but still ashamed that she had fallen asleep despite all her speeches about keeping an eye on Jack and getting him safely back to New York.

Before Jack could help himself, his mouth formed the question on his mind; “Who’s Michael?”

For a moment, Peggy’s face went pale but she quickly regained her posture. She didn’t have to ask how he knew the name. Her dream was still vivid in her mind.

“Michael was my brother. He died in the war,” She stated as matter-of-factly as she could.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jack said sincerely, understanding how memories like that would bring nightmares, “I didn’t know.”

“I asked to have the connection between our files removed,” Peggy explained, “I didn’t want anyone to use it against me once I got seriously involved in the war.”

“You entered the military together?” Jack asked, assuming she did not want enemies to use her living brother against her.

“No. I entered when he died. Actually, he recommended me for the position. He saw something in me that no one else did, not even myself at the time.”

Jack had never seen Peggy open about her past. She was always denying talking about her life before or during the war. Maybe, because people normally asked about Captain America instead of asking about her.

Peggy was surprised at how Jack listened, truly interested, in what she was telling. She had not experienced him, like this since he laid in the hospital bed, sedated by pain medication. Since moving into Howard’s home, he had reverted to his good, old, pain-in-the-arse self.

“You know, you have been pushing yourself too hard on this case, Carter. You should take a day off, heck just six hours to get some decent sleep,” Jack tried to lighten the mood.

“Well, as soon as you get safely to New York, I can go back to a normal day rhythm. Until then, I will make sure that we do not lose another Chief of the SSR.”

Her words moved Jack more than he cared to admit. She did not just say that out of duty, but because she had already lost too many people in her life. Her brother. Steve Rogers. Probably many others that he did not know about. He knew that he had been treating her differently for being a woman in a man’s world. But woman or not, her losses had been as great as anyone else’s.

“I can manage for a couple of hours. From now on, you get six hours of sleep, even if it means that I have to hang around Jarvis while you do so. And – You will go out to night.”

“Go out?” Peggy asked surprised, for a moment misinterpreting his words.

“Yes. You and Daniel have a thing going on – Yes, even I can see that – But you haven’t spent any real time together since I got shot. You should go out, be merry, or whatever kids do nowadays,” Jack sent her a bright smile.

Peggy mentally smacked herself for her initial interpretation of Jack’s remark and for the weird sinking feeling in her stomach when he explained his actual intention.

She thought about what Jack had said and had to agree that he was fully capable of taking care of himself by now plus there were still agents stationed around the mansion.

“Alright, I guess you can take care of yourself for a few hours,” She reluctantly agreed.

“Is the high-and-mighty Peggy Carter saying that I am right?” Jack teased.

“I am saying that you, for once, is talking sense,” Peggy tried to shoot back, though falling a bit flat.

“Then go call Susan and ask her out.” Jack waved her off.

Peggy sent him another disappointed look, clearly disapproving of his remark, before she left to call Daniel. For every step they made forward in this… Friendship, or whatever it was… Jack always made sure they took at least one step back again.

Jack ran a hand down his face. It was becoming more and more difficult to keep up being the asshole.


	7. How You Remind Me

Daniel had immediately booked a table at his favourite restaurant when Peggy had called. Honestly, he had thought that she was ignoring him and possibly regretting what had happened between them. They had tried to keep their painfully slowly evolving relationship going when Jack was in the hospital through quick half-an-hour lunches and ten-minute talks in the hospital halls.

But since Jack had moved into Howard Stark’s mansion, she had insisted to be home all the time to keep an eye on Jack. From what he had heard from Mr. Jarvis, she barely slept. She would sit outside Jack’s bedroom door at night, listening for intruders. She would walk on his tail all day, keeping an eye on his every move. When Daniel would come by, she did not want to display their relationship in from of Jack, which meant that Daniel could only be there as a friend and colleague, for both her and Jack.

He had started getting jealous. He had started thinking that there was something between them. He had seen how Peggy’s eyes were always on Jack. Always watching him. Even when Daniel talked to her, her eyes were wandering.

He had almost given up when she called. And she had asked him out. Peggy Carter had asked him out.

And here she was, sitting as beautiful as ever in front of him, her lips as red as the wine she was sipping.

“I’m really happy you called,” Daniel said.

“Daniel, you have already said that,” Peggy answered with a smile.

“I know, but I really am happy. The last couple of months have been really hectic with the zero-matter case and now Jack. Hopefully we can go back to a bit of normalcy now, whatever that is for the SSR.”

“Yes indeed,” Peggy answered, though the thought of ‘normalcy’ made her stomach knot.

“I admire how dedicated you have been throughout this process with Jack. But I also look forward to that, maybe, you will have a bit more time for me,” Daniel admitted, trying to make her confirm that she really still was interested in their relationship.

“I only did what could be expected when a Chief of the SSR was almost assassinated,” Peggy couldn’t help the bitter tone in her voice, “Daniel, that will not change. No matter what is going to happen between us. I will always perform my duty.”

“I am not trying to change you, Peggy, but if we are going to be together, you can’t expect me to wait at home while you are with another man-” Daniel could not hide his frustrations.

“I am not _with another man!_ I am looking out for a colleague-” Peggy interrupted

“You didn’t have to do it alone,” Daniel interrupted back, “We could have had other agents in the mansion…”

“Then why didn’t you just arrange that, _Chief_?”

“Because you wouldn’t let me!” Daniel exclaimed.

Both suddenly realised that they had been drawing attention from the tables around them. They both sat back in their seats, taking deep breaths, not even having realised that they had been leaning forward in agitation.

“If you can’t accept my dedication to my job, then you _are_ asking me to change, Daniel,” Peggy said in a low voice. This was suffocating. Not because of the confrontation, but because of the canyon between her and Daniel that it was slowly revealing. The knot in her stomach squirmed and she felt slightly sick. “I don’t think this will work.”

Daniel didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure either.

Peggy got up from her chair and stood for a moment. Daniel didn’t look at her.

“Goodbye, Daniel.”

-.-.-.-.-

“You are… home already, Miss Carter?” Jarvis asked when she walked into the hall.

“Yes, Mr. Jarvis,” Peggy answered tiredly.

“Well, uhm… Have you… eaten?” Mr. Jarvis tried to avoid the obvious subject.

“I’m not hungry, but thank you,” Peggy answered quickly, “I will be in the library.”

Peggy quickly moved through the halls and into the library. She didn’t want to go to the living room as Jack would most likely be there.

She didn’t turn on the light, knowing the layout of the library perfectly. She collapsed in one of the armchairs, suddenly feeling the lack of sleep tumbling down on her.

She should never have stepped out of her routine. She should have stayed with the mission. She should know by now not to get involved with colleagues. She had fallen in love with Steve and it had almost broken her when she had lost him. Now she had opened up to Daniel, finally thinking she was ready. But maybe she wasn’t. She wasn’t ready to compromise to be in a relationship. Was it her fault? Should she had prioritized Daniel more? Why could he not just understand how important the mission was to her?

Would Steve had understood? They had not had a real relationship. They had flirted. But they had only shared one kiss. They had never even discussed being together. It was something unsaid between them. As soon as the war was over, they could take the discussion. When the mission was completed.

Never.

They would never be together.

Maybe she was giving herself too little credit. She thought Steve was the love of her life, and she had needed time to move on from him. But maybe she had been a bit to desperate after that, having had two potential men in her life since she came to L.A. She had tried. That should at least mean something.

But if she could not even compromise for Daniel, the best man she had met since Steve, who would she compromise for?


	8. If I Smile and Don't Believe

It had been a festive dinner at Stark’s house. Jack couldn’t remember the last time he had had this much wine, normally being a bourbon man.

They had been celebrating that Jack had finally been completely released by the doctor and would return to New York tomorrow. Actually, Jarvis was celebrating that Jack would finally be leaving more than Jack was celebrating going home, and therefore he had popped some very fine wines from Stark’s collection, which made it hard for Jack to turn down.

Finally, Jack had had the chance to move outside to have some time alone. The mirage of the moon shimmered in the surface of the pool and crickets played their evening tune. It was like silence before the storm.

But he was never alone in this house, and soon Peggy walked slowly towards the sun bed that Jack laid slumped on while sipping yet another of Howards golden bourbons. He had never seen Peggy drunk, but he could detect a bit more sway to her hips than normally as she walked towards him.

“Is this seat taken?” She asked, nodding her head towards the empty sunbed next to his.

“Be my guest,” Jack said, waving his hand as an invite for her to sit next to him, “I didn’t bring a spare glass, though.”

“Good thing that bourbon comes in bottles then,” She answered and picked up the bottle and took a sip.

Jack raised an eyebrow and smiled, both in surprise and in appreciation of her initiative.

“I’ve always liked women with a healthy appetite,” He commented, partially sarcastic and partially truthful.

Peggy sat the bottle down but didn’t answer his comment. For a couple of minutes, they just sat in silence as Jack emptied his glass.

“Why were you sitting here all by yourself? Anxious about going back to New York?” Peggy asked.

“Why would I be anxious about that?” Jack snapped, puzzled by her question and angry that she assumed that he was scared of anything.

“Why are you out here, then?” She asked. Looking at him with one eyebrow raised.

Jack looked away, not wanting to look her in the eye.

“Just wanted some privacy,” He answered.

“Just you and a glass in your hand,” Peggy stated, picking up the bottle again to take a sip. As she put it down, she spoke again, “You do that often, don’t you?”

“What? Drink? Do you think I’m a drunk or something?” Jack asked, offended by her question, the veil of alcohol making him answer before he thought it through. After all, she had followed him around for the last month.

“No, that’s not what I meant,“ She quickly corrected herself, “I mean, this is how you deal. With everything. Being alone.”

Jack was about to snap at her. It was none of her business how he chose to deal with his life or if he chose to be alone. But he didn’t. Just as much as she irritated him, her concern got to him. Again. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had been concerned for him. But she had been concerned for him since he got shot. Maybe even before? _You are a good man, Jack. I know that._

“It’s just easier that way, sometimes,” He chose to answer.

“I know.”

Her tone of voice surprised him and he looked back at her; “What do you mean, ‘you know’? You have Jarvis and Stark and Ana and that girl-who-lost-her-grandmother-that-you-live-with-in-New-York. Since when do you deal with anything alone?”

“Since Michael died.”

Jack felt his stomach drop. He had had a feeling that Michael had meant a lot to her. To admit something like this… And to admit it to him…

“When Michael died, I dealt with it alone. Then I met Steve and started opening up again… Only to lose him as well,” Peggy continued, “Back then, even though I had Howard and he somewhat shared my loss, I couldn’t talk to him about it. It hurt too much. It was easier just to deal with it alone. So instead we pretended not to notice when the other emptied a bottle now and then. We knew why.”

Jack couldn’t believe that she was telling him all of this. It was hard to listen to. He could hear the pain in her voice. And he recognized it from himself.

“Then Howard asked me to clear his name, and he asked Mr. Jarvis to assist me. I discovered that Howard had been hiding the last sample of Steve’s blood from me. I got so angry. I gave him a black eye.”

“Really?” Jack couldn’t help but to interrupt with a smile at the thought. He was happy that Peggy couldn’t help but to smile at the memory either. They both needed the break from the sad story telling, so the smiles became wider until they were both laughing at the thought.

“I wish that I could have seen that,” Jack stuttered in his laughter.

“Yes, it was quite priceless,” Peggy said, her voice a bit hoarse from the laughter.

Jack mentally slapped himself, when he couldn’t help but to think that she sounded adorable. It was not a proper way to think of a fellow agent.

“The point is…“ Peggy said a bit too loud, trying to get both Jack and herself back on track, “… I needed to go through that and have that fight with Howard to move on. Mr. Jarvis stayed by my side and later I forgave Howard for what he had done. Having them helping me made me realise that even though having them around could hurt, especially when having to discuss matters such as Steve, the pain becomes less over time, when you have people around to distract you and to make you focus on other things. Good things.”

Jack nodded with a sarcastic smile on his face and looked away; “Thank you, Dr Carter.”

“I’m serious, Jack.”

Jack turned by the change in her voice. Her face was serious again and her eyes drilled into his.

“You need someone in your life, Jack. Someone to open up to. I’m not saying that it is easy. Because it is not. I still find it difficult. But it helps.”

Silence fell over them yet again. Peggy poured Jack another glass and took another drag from the bottle herself. He happily accepted the drink.

As the silence began to feel awkward, Peggy sat up, ready to leave, but Jack stopped her.

“I know you are right,” He said almost so quietly that she couldn’t hear it, “The day after I told you… you know, on the plane… I slept for the first time without it waking me in the middle of the night. I slept the night after as well. Then it came back. It always comes back. Unless I pass out. And I need to sleep sometimes. So, I need to pass out.”

Jack sat up in the chair, and turned his back to her. Why did she have this power to make him admit things like that? Something about her made everything so hard, and yet so easy. And now she had opened up to him like this, and he felt like he owed her some honesty.

He felt her hand on his shoulder, and he turned to see her sitting right behind him. A few inched parted her face from his, and her brown eyes seemed to shimmer in competition with the pool surface.

“One day at a time, Jack, one day at a time.”

With that she stood, breaking the magic with the words: “The plane leaves tomorrow at eight. You better not be late or hungover. I will not have you whining about your hurting head all the way home.”

And then she left. Leaving him looking after her as her figure faded in the shadows.

He tried to fight it. He really did. But it was hard to deny that his heart raced just from the thought of her proximity.


	9. In a City that Doesn't Sleep

The familiar _ding_ of the lift. The creak of the first wooden board and then the clacking of heels down the hallway.

Peggy didn’t realise just how much she had missed New York. She had been certain of staying in Los Angeles in the moment when she had kissed Daniel, but standing in the familiar office of SSR New York, she felt more at home than ever.

“’Morning Carter,” Jack greeted her from the coffee machine.

“Good morning, Chief,” Peggy answered respectfully, though it felt a bit wrong after all the time they had spent together, “Good to be back?”

“You have no idea,” He smiled.

Jack went into his office and Peggy went to her desk. It was cleared except for a single thick file that she had not left there when she went to Los Angeles. She curiously flipped the front page before taking off her jacket and was met by the confident mug shot of Dottie Underwood.

On the middle of the first page was a yellow note: ‘ _Continue where you left off’._

Peggy recognized Jack’s handwriting and smiled to herself. He had better let her finish the interrogation this time.

-.-.-.-.-

“Making any progress?”

Peggy looked up to see Jack, his jacket casually over his shoulder.

“I have a few leads that I am following up on, but she is not making it easy,” Peggy answered honestly.

“When is anything easy, huh?” Jack answered with a crooked smile, “But you should head home, come back with a fresh head in the morning.”

“I don’t want to leave early just because it is my first day back,” Peggy answered a bit offended by his statement.

“Carter, it’s seven thirty.”

Peggy looked up at the clock in surprise. He was right. It was getting dark outside and only the two agents for the night watch was still in the office, besides her and Jack.

“Oh…” The small exclamation left her lips at her realisation, “Well, I guess you are right, Chief.”

She collected her papers and started getting ready to leave. As she picked up her jacket, she realised that Jack was still standing by her desk.

“Is there anything else, Chief Thompson?”

“No… No.” Jack looked around, but still did not leave until Peggy had packed and headed for the lift.

They got in the lift together and Jack pushed the button to go down. They stood in awkward silence and Peggy was about to break it when Jack beat her to it.

“You want a ride home?”

Peggy was a bit surprised by the question.

“I don’t think that would be appropriate, Chief Thompson,” She answered, worried about the rumours it could start in the office, no matter how innocent it might be.

“Come on, Carter, don’t be like that,” Jack took a deep breath before saying something wrong, “I know what you are thinking but no one is here. Just let me, you know, do you a small favour in return for you taking care of me in L.A.”

Peggy thought about it for a moment.

“Thank you for the offer, Jack, but I will manage,” She repeated her answer, though in a friendlier manner.

“Alright, Carter.”


	10. The Mistake You Can't Live Without

The bartender immediately recognized them as they entered, except for Peggy of course.

“You guys starting bringing the wives?” he asked as he eyed Peggy sceptically.

“She’s a colleague,” Jack said sternly.

“Huh…” The bartender answered, “Well, I ain’t got any of that fruity stuff.”

“Good, I’ll have a bourbon. I hope that is not too much for you to manage,” Peggy interfered, tired of not being talked directly to.

The bartender raised his bushy eyebrows at her gutsiness.

“A round of bourbons, on me,” Jack smiled and guided the group to a corner table where they could talk work without any listeners.

The nine of them found their seats and the bartender soon came with their drinks. He still looked sceptically at Peggy. The only two other women in the bar was accompanied by a significant other, and definitely not eight different men.

“Well guys, good work on the Dottie Underwood case. We got her, and this time, she is not getting away. Cheers!”

Peggy didn’t miss the sharp look Jack sent her way at the last remark. But it didn’t matter. If this was the reward for following the rules… She would still break them when necessary. Still, she was happy to finally be included in the celebration of a case. None of her fellow agents could diminish her contributions to this case as she had been in the lead together with Jack and a few other agents. So when Jack had invited her along, no one had protested.

As they sat by the table, she could feel that the men were holding back and probably avoided certain subjects because she was present. She found it hard to fit in and to participate in the conversations. But she refused to leave. She would stick to the bitter end. They might as well get used to her. She was not going anywhere.

Slowly, the men disappeared home to their wives or home alone. In the end, Peggy was alone with Jack, and she decided that she had held out long enough, but when she was about to leave, Jack held out a hand to stop her.

“Carter, I don’t know about you, but I could really use to pass out tonight. But I was thinking that it might be a good idea not to do it alone…”

Peggy understood the hidden meaning in his statement and sat back down. She could not refuse him, when he so openly asked for her help; “Your round, Chief.”

-.-.-.-.-

They almost fell out of the door of the bar. Peggy did not know what time it was, but it was late. Much too late for a normal week day.

They had emptied so many glasses. The bartender had been impressed with her stamina when it came to bourbon, and even bought them a round on the house.

They had not done a lot of talking. Shared a few stories from the war. Peggy had shared some stories about the 107th, for the first time to someone outside Project Rebirth. Jack had shared his own stories from both Europe and Japan. Peggy had not even known that he had been in Europe, and even met Steve once. It was weird that he had been right there, at the same time and same place as her, but they had not seen each other, or could not remember.

They started walking, looking for cabs to take them home.

“Must be pretty late for the street to be this empty,” Jack noticed and checked his watch.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” Peggy asked before thinking it through.

“No, I could stay all night,” Jack answered honestly.

Peggy looked at him, surprised by his statement. Surprised that she felt the same. As they stood there, she looked at his crooked smile, eyes tired yet content and the sincerity she wished that she would see more often.

Jack studied her face. Her eyes shining in the street light. Her bright red smile. Before he could stop himself, he leaned in and caught her lips with his own. For a moment, time froze. He didn’t know what he had expected but her lips were soft against his. The slick surface of the lipstick only added to the sensation. He could sense the taste of the bourbon they had shared on her lips. Or was it his own breath? It didn’t matter. Right now, all that mattered was that he had not yet received a numbing slap across his face.

Peggy was caught completely by surprise. Suddenly, Jack moved in close, very close. And their lips were touching. A thrill crawled down her spine at the soft movement of his lips on hers. As if by instinct, her lips moved against his. She could feel his surprise and disbelief that she would react like this. She was just as surprised.

They just stood there, only their lips slowly moving against each other, as if moving from this position would break the spell cast upon them.

Finally, Peggy’s actions reached her brain, and she put her hands against Jacks chest and pushed herself away from him.

For a moment they just looked into each other’s eyes, trying to read the other.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I can’t do this.”

Peggy quickly turned away from him, not wanting to see or hear his response to her words. 

-.-.-.-.-

Jack looked deep into the amber drink in front of him, hypnotised by how the light played in the surface. He could not help but wonder why life kept forcing him to make hard choices. Though very little could compare to his Navy Cross, it felt like he did not get a break to prove himself worthy of it. He had finally made Chief of the SSR, just to let himself get controlled by Vernon Masters and do his bidding. The only way he could come up with a solution to that problem, had been to kill Masters. Hardly a heroic choice. Then he had been shot. He thought that that should be enough to pay his dues, but now he had taken it to a new low level.

He could not deny it anymore. He was in love with Peggy Carter. That might not have been so bad, except that he now had to deal with the way that he had been treating her for so long. And had to somehow deal with having made a move on her, a fellow agent. Another dumb drunken move from his part. How much farther did he have to fall before he would hit the bottom?

How could he even imagine that he had a chance with her? She had been with Captain America. She had been with Daniel. Two of the best and most honest men to ever touch the surface of the planet. He was nothing like them. He was the opposite. He was the reason why men like them had to exist. To give girls like her what they deserve.

He emptied his glass and ordered another.


	11. Just the Way You Are

Peggy had not slept all night. The amount of alcohol should have knocked her right out, but instead she had been tossing and turning, only one thing on her mind.

Jack.

That arsehole. Of course he would go and do something like that. Just when she had decided to be done with men, he, of all people, should kiss her. Her mind had been spinning, around him, his lips, his scent. How hard it had been to stop kissing it. She had clearly been too drunk for her own good. It was probably also the reason why she had enjoyed it. Just a little.

No matter what, this was a tough morning. She was hungover, low on sleep and her brain was tired of thinking. But she made sure that no one could tell. Her makeup was as sharp as ever and her strides as quick and energetic as always when she strolled down the bullpen. The only difference was that she was looking out for Jack.

He was not in yet.

She didn’t know whether to be relieved or not. She wanted to clear the air. Or maybe it was better just to pretend that nothing happened and move on. Maybe she should let him decide whether they should talk or not. After all, he made the move. She could just sit by her desk and work, her back turned to the office, pretending that Jack Thompson didn’t even exist.

Her plan lasted for two hours. As soon as she heard the elevator, she forgot everything about staying invisible and turned to see Jack enter the bullpen.

His attempt at hiding last night’s events was much less successful than hers. His eyes were bloodshot and his suit a bit out of place.

His eyes immediately found hers. It lasted a second or two but felt like forever. Peggy forced herself to look away. She couldn’t risk anyone noticing. But she could see the hurt in his eyes, and the forced strength he was sending her way. And she could feel her heart drop at the sight of him.

-.-.-.-.-

Even though he had slept in, it has been a restless sleep, and he was most likely still a little bit drunk, not having reached the point of hangover yet. Jack swallowed the urge to call Peggy in to his office. He didn’t actually know what he wanted to say to her. Apologise? Ask her why he wasn’t good enough? Claim he had just been drunk and stupid? Explain why he _was_ good enough? Or just ask her to forget about everything?

But how could she? How could he? He had had a taste of something he needed more than he had known and it was impossible to forget.

Instead he walked straight to his office and closed the door. He moved papers around, picked up some, wrote on others, just to look busy. But his eyes kept darting towards Peggy, drilling into her back.

Actually, he probably wanted to know what she was thinking. She had kissed him back. At least he thought she had. He hoped he hadn’t just imagining that. Why had she done that? Had she just been drunk or…

Never mind. He stopped his own thinking process and shuffled some more papers, at least until he found his eyes on her back again.

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy could barely contain her irritation anymore. She could feel how Jack’s eyes were drilling into the back of her head the entire day. Could he be any more obvious?

She picked up a random pile of folders and walked towards Jack’s office. She knocked on the door and when granted access, she opened the door and stood in the door opening, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible at the sight of Jack; “Chief, do you have a moment?”

Jack only nodded in response, having watched her all the way from her table.

Peggy closed the door and put the files in front of Jack, opening the top file, as if showing him something.

“Chief, I think we can both agree that what happened last night was unfortunate and we both want to move on and forget about it but that will not happen as long as you keep staring at me. This is a room full of agents, someone will notice,” She said low and quickly.

Jack sat still, staring down at the file that Peggy had put in front of him. For a second, he thought about playing along and agreeing with her solution to their situation. But he couldn’t.

Instead, he rose from his seat and slowly closed all the blinds in the office before turning back towards Peggy. Not very subtle, but necessary, and not uncommon when discussing confidential matters. He fought to keep his voice low, knowing that he still risked the agents outside hearing him.

“You know what? I don’t want to forget about it. I can’t forget about it. Because then I would have to forget everything since the day I woke up in the hospital. Hell, I might have to forget more than that.”

Jack ran his hand through his hair, obviously trying to find the right words.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Peggy was taken by surprise by his words and was afraid to read too much into them.

“I don’t know! Damn it, Peggy, I don’t know what the hell this is. I just can’t get you out of my head. Even when you bother the crap out of me, I still can’t help but to want you around. Want you close,” Jack stopped and looked hopelessly at Peggy, shuffling his feet, “I never wanted this, Peggy. You are stubborn, you don’t follow orders, you don’t know your place, you disrespect authority and you are a pain in the ass.”

“That’s who I am, Jack,” Peggy answered, surprising Jack by not biting his head off for offending her.

“Guess what? I know! And I want you to stay that way!” Jack answered honestly, flapping his arms helplessly, frustrated with himself.

For a moment they stood in silence. Peggy was surprised by Jack’s confession. He sounded as if he genuinely cared for her and was accepting her for who she was, even when she clearly caused him some headaches.

“You know, it’s kind of your turn to say something,” Jack shifted nervously.

He could not believe everything that he had just admitted to her. He was ready for her rejection but feared how it would affect their working relationship. He didn’t want to lose his position as Chief, and he didn’t want to lose his best agent. That last part, he would never admit out loud.

Peggy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She was trying to decipher her emotions but right now she only felt overwhelmed. She believed him when he said that he didn’t want her to change, yet it still seemed too good to be true. Of all men in the world, could Jack be the one who could accept her as she was?

“I get it, Carter… I’m not like Daniel or Steve Rogers. I’m not the good guy. And you deserve that. So just…”

“No, Jack. That’s not it. I just cannot figure out how I feel right now. I can’t believe that we – You and Me, Jack, of all people – are having this conversation. Last night already confused me and now you are telling me all this,“ Peggy took a breath, “I already told you that you are a good man, Jack. I guess, I am just afraid of taking this risk. We would risk both our jobs. And after Steve and Daniel… I don’t know if I can do this again.”

Jack looked her straight in the eye; “So, _that_ is what you are afraid of, of all things?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Peggy snapped.

“Just that in every aspect of life, you go against all odds. But when it comes to a chance of maybe being happy, even if it is with a fool like me, you run with your tail between your legs.”

“How dare you?”

“Well, at least I dare! Do you think it was easy for me to say the things I just did? But I said it. Because you were right. Having someone around who understands you makes everything easier. And I think we understand each other and that’s why things are so easy and so damn complicated at the same time.”

If Peggy had been speechless and conflicted before, she was in complete turmoil now. Everything Jack was saying was resonating with something inside of her. A latent missing that she did not even know she had.

She asked herself a question that often bothered her: What will I regret the most? To go for it or not?

Peggy turned to the table and picked up the files that she had brought in with her. As she walked to the door, she stopped and turned back to Jack, who was looking away, defeated; “No one can know. And yesterday doesn’t count, so you better ask me on a proper date, Jack Thompson.”

When her words sank in, Jack looked up, but she was already gone. He couldn’t help the smile spreading on his face.


	12. At the Beginning with You

Jack corrected his tie once more. This was ridiculous. He had been on dates before. But he had never cared about his tie. Or been twenty minutes early. Or cared that she was five minutes late.

He had been a bit annoyed when Peggy had insisted on them meeting at the diner instead of him picking her up. After all, it was her who had requested a proper date. But she thought that it would be too risky. Apparently, if her roommate found out, half of New York’s single ladies would know within hours, and soon after the rest of the city. At least according to Peggy.

If they made it to a second date, he should probably talk to her about her paranoia.

He made a sigh of relief when she walked through the swinging doors. She looked a bit flustered but put on a smile when she found him among the many occupied tables.

“I’m so sorry for being late. Angie had changed shifts and wanted to have a girls’ lunch. It was not easy talking my way out of that,” Peggy apologised as she sat down.

“Oh no. If only you had experience with lying on the spot, like spies and agents have,” Jack answered with smile.

“Sometimes our job _does_ come in handy,” She replied with a slightly devilish grin.

“So, what did agent Carter come up with?”

“If anyone asks, your name is Karen and you are very shy and just passing through town and will most likely never return to New York again.”

“I don’t know if being ‘Karen’ or being ‘very shy’ will be most difficult for me,” Jack pretended to think about it.

“Oh, I think you would make a perfect Karen,” Peggy let a laugh escape.

Jack laughed back at her, realising that she was more relaxed in this situation than he would have expected. Maybe all the time they had spent together in Stark’s home had broken down a wall or two. He could recognise the Peggy that he had seen in Russia.

A waitress came to take their order.

“I know this is not some fancy restaurant, but you don’t strike me-” Jack suddenly felt selfaware about the less ‘proper’ part of his ‘proper’ date.

“It’s perfect,” Peggy intervened. And she meant it. She didn’t know if it was the place or her date, but from the moment she sat down, this had felt more right than her fancier date with Daniel.

“Good… Good,” Jack smiled, happy with her answer, before casually leaning back in the booth; “So, tell me about England.”

“England?” Peggy asked surprised.

“Yeah, how did Peggy Carter become Peggy Carter?” Jack asked curiously.

Peggy was taken by surprise. Of course, it was normal to ask things like that on a date. But no one had ever asked her. Not like this. They asked about the war, about her missions, about Steve.

So she started telling him about when she grew up. Soon, she realised that she was telling stories about her and Michael as children, without it hurting too much. Jack knew just when to ask questions, when to laugh and when to let her skip the details.

“You clearly didn’t have any siblings,” Peggy suddenly stated.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jack asked.

“You are clearly not sensible enough to be an older brother and not childish enough to be a younger brother. But you are definitely spoiled enough to be an only child.”

“Guilty as charged.” Jack laughed.

Peggy was about to say something when her smile turned to a surprised “oh” and she quickly slipped down in her seat.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked, still with a smile, thinking it was some kind of joke.

“It’s Rose!” Peggy said desperately, ”She’s outside the diner.”

Jack turned in his seat and saw Rose standing outside, looking over the menu placed in the window.

“Oh yeah. She’s back to visit her mother,” Jack said obliviously.

“She’ll see us,” Peggy said a bit anxiously.

“She might not come in,” Jack tried to reassure her.

“Well then, good thing the windows aren’t transparent,” Peggy answered sarcastically.

Jack was about to tell Peggy how childish she was acting, but she had made her terms about their dating clear and he was going to respect that.

“Come on,” He said and made Peggy stand up while he made sure his body covered hers from Rose’s point of view.

He gently pushed her towards the back of the restaurant. He was surprised that she didn’t protest. When they reach the back of the room, they heard Rose’s voice as she approached one of the servants. Jack quickly guided Peggy into the kitchen.

The kitchen was buzzing and only a servant on her way back into the restaurant noticed them.

“You are not-” The servant started but was cut off by Jack.

“Thank you so much for the great food. This should cover the bill. We will just use your back door now. Have a nice day,” Jack handed the servant money to cover the food and a very nice tip and then urged Peggy to the back door before the servant could object.

They came out in the back alley, with a good distance to the busy street in front of the diner.

“That was close,” Peggy breathed a sigh of relief.

“Would it really be so bad to be seen with me?” Jack couldn’t help but to ask, trying to keep the question light.

Peggy turned to look at him, first intending to give him another lecture on what would happen – especially to her career as a female agent – if their barely-existing relationship became known. But when she saw the poorly concealed hurt in his eyes, her anger diminished, and she remembered that he had actually just given her a very nice first date _and_ helped her escape Rose instead of making a scene.

“I am not ashamed to be dating you, Jack,” She said very calmly and honestly, “But this is still very new, and very unexpected for the both of us.”

Jack smiled at that.

“I just want us to take our own time, instead of being forced by protocols.”

“Me too,” Jack concurred. He really wanted to enjoy this for as long as possible. It made him feel free. She made him feel free.

Peggy closed the distance between them and gave Jack a soft kiss. Though smaller and quicker than their drunken first kiss, it was even better than he remembered, not being clouded by bourbon.

“Thank you for a marvellous first date,” Peggy smiled, “I can’t wait for the next.”


	13. Don't Let Them Know

Peggy dropped down behind the car, her hand firmly pressed against her arm. Jack followed a moment later, and other agents dropped behind the vehicles around them.

For a moment all was silent. Then the bullets rained down on the other side of the vehicles, like deadly hail digging its way towards them.

“Are you okay?” Jack asked worriedly, looking at her white shirt changing colour to crimson red beneath her hand.

“Peachy,” Peggy answered coldly as she tried to catch a glimpse of the assailants on the other side of the car without taking another bullet.

“Peggy, please,” Jack pulled her down and closer in order to inspect her wound.

Peggy looked around at the other agents, happy they were too busy to notice his obvious concern, which was far from the normal Chief-Agent concern, “Jack, not now. Not here.”

Jack noticed her nervous looks towards the other agents, realising that he would not have reacted like this, if it was not for their relationship. Normally, as long as she was standing, he would let her be. But it was different now. He couldn’t stand the sight of her being hurt. He was putting her wellbeing over the team.

Peggy sat back up and pulled out her gun, ready to give their assailants a bit of their own medicine.

Her jaw strong. Her eyes steely. Her sheer willpower giving him goosebumps.

And he remembered; She would never change. And he didn’t want her to. She was going to get hurt. She already had been many times. He had as well. But they were both still standing. This woman was so strong that she could take a bullet and still take on the world. And he was lucky enough to be by her side. So instead of pulling her down to nurse her wounds, he should stand beside her, help her be strong like she helped him be, and face the world with her.

Jack pulled his own gun, “All right fellows, let’s give them a run for their money!”

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy walked out from the doctor in the SSR. Another few stitches to add to her collection. Another scar.

But it didn’t matter. They had caught yet another gang of terrorists and probably saved a lot of people. 

She stepped into the elevator and let out a breath. Right now, she just needed a hot shower. She truly envied the men and their locker room.

The elevator almost shut when a hand grabbed the door and pulled it open again.

Peggy couldn’t help the smile when Jack smiled at her from the opening and joined her in the small space.

“How are you doing?” He asked gently.

“I’m fine, Jack, you don’t have to worry,” She smiled at him.

“Got a new, sexy scar, huh?”

Peggy blushed slightly at that. Just a year ago she would probably had given him a black eye for that comment, but their relationship had quickly evolved, and surely it had also started taking on a more physical character.

Further, Jack had made a major change in his behavior. Not just towards her, but women in general. She was his only “sweetheart” now, and the word was never said in a degrading manner, but only in pure affection.

“Jack, I would prefer you didn’t talk like that in the office,” She said, but still grabbed his hand to let him know her affection despite her words.

“I know,” he said and turned to stand straight in front of her, “But you know what? I don’t care.”

Peggy was a bit surprised by that and was about to protest, but Jack placed a finger on her red lips.

“Not because I don’t respect your wish anymore, but because I don’t care what they think. I don’t care if we both have to quit the SSR. If they don’t see what I see, that we make each other better and stronger, then they don’t deserve us. God knows, they haven’t deserved you for a very long time. So I don’t care. I don’t want to hide any more. I want to show everyone.”

Peggy couldn’t help the tears filling her eyes. Jack was being so sweet. She wanted to kiss him until the fedora flew off his head. Maybe the doctor had given her too much painkiller?

“Okay. No more hiding,” She smiled at him, but couldn’t help to quickly add; “But we don’t have to rub it in their faces, do we? We can just unhide it and let them figure it out… Okay?”

“Okay,” Jack gladly agreed, “And I am taking you home, whether you want it or not.”

They left the elevator hand in hand. Though Peggy had agreed to unhide their relationship, she was still relieved to find the telephone area empty. The office would have figured out much too quickly if the ladies had found out so soon.

-.-.-.-.-

Jack insisted on walking Peggy to her front door even though her legs were perfectly fine.

“Well, this is me,” Peggy said shyly. Why did this man have this power over her?

“Yes, it is,” Jack concurred with a crooked smile, clearly sensing her sudden awareness of their situation.

“So…” Peggy said, suddenly lost for words.

“Let me help you with this one,” Jack sent her a dashing smile before leaning in for a kiss.

Just then, the door opened, and they jolted away from each other as per reflex.

“Well, hello hello”, Angie sent them a smile, definitely not sorry for interrupting.

“Hi Angie,” Peggy tried to keep her voice levelled, though she couldn’t hide her irritation.

“Hi English. And Agent Thompson. Are you chauffeuring for you agents now?” Angie looked curiously at Jack.

“No, we just had a long day, so I decided to take Peg-Carter-” Jack started trying to explain, but Peggy put a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Angie, Jack drove me home because he is my… boyfriend… and… that’s what boyfriends do,” Peggy ended awkwardly.

Jack stood straighter, prouder, and put his arm around Peggy in appreciation.

Angie looked between them, “I knew it! About damn time, English!”


	14. You Are the Only One

Another roar blasted through the bullpen, followed by a line of creative swearwords.

Everyone duck their heads a bit further into their paperwork. The office was abnormally quiet. Every time a phone rang, an agent would answer as quickly and quietly as possible.

Jack had a cold.

He had never been as intimidating as now. One of the phones had rung without being picked up, and Jack had ripped the phone off the table, ripping out the cord, followed by a demand for aspirin. Later he had suddenly popped out of his office, yelling at the first face he met and demand a refill of his coffee.

Since then, he had been sneezing loudly, coughing and putting everyone in a state of panic, trying to stay on his good side. Sometimes agents would take a step towards his door, hear him sneeze, and turn on their heels mumbling “ _It can wait ‘till tomorrow”._

Agents left as soon as they could, leaving the office to the night shift sooner than usual.

Peggy was the last to leave, and went into Jack’s office, only to find him with his head buried deep in his hands, his breathing heavy.

“Jack?” She asked carefully.

Jack raised his head quickly and clearly regretted it, squeezing his eyes at the pounding in his head. For a moment, Peggy thought she would get yelled at for disturbing him, but when he realised who it was, his features softened.

“Hey sweetheart,” He murmured, his voice rough.

“You don’t look so good,” Peggy stated the obvious.

“Yeah, I don’t feel so hot…. Well, actually, I do…”

Peggy left the door frame to step closer. She put the back of her hand to Jack’s forehead.

“You are burning up,” She said, quickly becoming concerned, before straightening up, “Come on. I am taking you home.”

“No, I jus-“

“Jack Thompson, get your arse in gear or so-help-me-God I will drag you through the bullpen myself.”

“Yes ma’am,” Jack sighed and stood up, though a little wobbly on his feet.

Jack put his arm around Peggy’s shoulders for light support. Or maybe he just enjoyed the excuse. The night agents sent them strange looks, obviously too scared to say anything, but clearly thinking they both looked a bit too comfortable in the situation.

Well, they _had_ agreed not to hide anymore.

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy had not been in Jack’s apartment before. They always met in restaurants, cafés or parks. He was clearly not a big decorator, but it had a good size for a New York apartment.

Jack dropped down on the couch, and clumsily wrapped a blanket around himself; “It’s cold…”

“No, your fever is just getting worse,” Peggy said and headed to the kitchen, “Do you have any tea?”

“The cabinet above the stove,” Jack sighed.

Peggy found both tea and kettle, and while the water was coming to a boil she also found some aspirin.

“I’m surprised you had tea,” Peggy said as she carefully put a cup in Jack’s hands and sat next to him with her own cup.

“My grandmother drinks tea. I have it for her,” Jack took a small sip and shivered at the burning beverage, and then smiled up at her, “And now I guess I also have tea for the best Englishwoman in the world.”

“Well, then I am going to have to teach you what selection to have. There are other flavours than camomile,” She smiled at him.

“This doesn’t taste like camomile…” Jack frowned.

“It is. I just added a bit of your whiskey. It will help fight the cold.”

“Surprisingly not bad…” Jack took another sip, “Well, I guess you will oversee the tea purchasing from now on.”

Even though Jack’s eyes were red and tired, there was no way Peggy could deny the love pouring from them.

She gently cupped his chin; “Drink up and take a couple of aspirins. You need to get some sleep.”

“Yes Ma’am.”

“You know what? I love it when you take orders,” Peggy smiled at him.

“Don’t get used to is. Tomorrow I will be back on my feet and able to make my own decisions,” Jack fell further into the cushions of the couch and emptied his tea, “Except for the tea selection.”

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy guided him to the bedroom where she collected his pyjamas and ordered him to go change in the bathroom, though she could tell he was ready to challenge her on that to save the effort of walking, but he caved and did as told.

When he came back in the bedroom, Peggy had arranged the quilt for him to easily slip into, and on the nightstand, she had placed a glass of water.

The comfort of his bed felt enhanced through the haze of the fever, and the spiked tea was still easing his sore throat. He closed his eyes and let the softness of the mattress take him in. Peggy placed the quilt over him, creating a soft, warm cocoon around him, finally releasing him of his headache.

“I love you…”

“What?” Peggy asked in disbelief.

“…What. You. Are doing for me,” Jack clumsily corrected himself, realising what he had just said.

For a moment, the room was quiet. Jack was afraid to open his eyes and see Peggy’s reaction, so he tried to pretend to quickly have fallen asleep.

Then he felt a nice coldness to his forehead, as Peggy gently kissed his burning temple.

“I love you too.”


	15. Forget the Wrong that I've Done

Jack looked into the amber drink. Smiling. It was his first glass. It would be his only glass. It was not to sleep or to forget. It was to celebrate. For once, everything was going his way. It probably should scare him. Things never went his way. Instead, he felt a peacefulness that he had not experienced since before the war. And he finally believed that things could be like that again. It would take time and it would not be easy, but if anyone could do it, it would be Peggy and him. They would take on the world and more, until peace was restored. And now they could work from two sides.

-.-.-.-.-

Peggy had been right about Angie. As soon as she knew, it didn’t take long before most of New York knew. Of course Peggy’s and his actions when he was sick had been a giveaway too, but some agents had argued that Peggy was just lucky to be a woman, so that the Chief had let her help him instead of ripping her head off for breathing. But then a friend of a friend of Angie’s had passed on the news that the handsome Chief of SSR was dating some beautiful British woman. With that information, it didn’t take long for the agents to put two and two together.

He had quickly been called to a meeting with his superiors, which, after long lecturing and debating, had ended with the predictable ultimatum that either Jack would quit, or he would dismiss Peggy.

“Well, we knew this was coming,” Peggy sighed when he told her.

“Yeah, but it still sucks,” Jack concurred.

“Actually, it doesn’t have to,” Peggy said with a secretive smile on her lips.

“Meaning…?” Jack asked curiously.

“I had another job offer.”

“What? When?” Jack exclaimed in surprise and slight unease. Who had been fishing for his prime agent?

“Last week,” Peggy said.

“Why didn’t you say anything? What kind of job is it?” Jack asked curiously, though a little offended that she hadn’t told him.

“Because the offer came from Howard, and I know how you feel about him,” Peggy said, still with a smile.

“Why would he offer you a job?” Jack asked, suddenly suspicious. Why would he want her? She was not a scientist. If he wanted her for one of his crappy movies, then…

Peggy took his hand.

“Howard is starting his own agency. Similar to the SSR, but starting fresh. He wants to take the spirit of Project Reborn and turn it against HYDRA and Red Room and… whatever else may come.”

“So, he tried stealing my best agent?” There, he said it.

“He needs a Director,” Peggy ignored his remark, though happy that Jack finally admitted what she had long known.

“Oh… Well, that’s… sort of a promotion…” Jack answered awkwardly.

“Jack, I want to take this position. I will never get a chance like this again. You know, that even if I stay in the SSR, I will never make anything close to Director. And this might actually be the perfect solution to our problem. You can keep your position as Chief of the SSR and I can get a chance at proving myself at Howard’s.”

Jack tried to sort out his feelings. He was proud of her. He fully understood her choice. He was jealous. He was frustrated that she would be working for Stark. But he didn’t really have a choice, didn’t he?

“Being the Director for Howard is absolutely your thing. God knows the world can only become a better place with you keeping Stark on a leash. Congratulations on the job, sweetheart,” He sent her a dashing smile.

“Thank you, Jack,” Peggy placed a kiss on his lips, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Peggy,” Jack bathed in the affection in her voice for a moment, however, he broke the moment, as he had to ask: “So, what is Stark calling his new project?”

“Oh, the longest and most preposterous name he could possibly come up with,” Peggy said irritated – It would take forever to introduce herself from now on, “He calls it the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.”

-.-.-.-.-

They had gone out to celebrate that Jack had told the SSR that he had dismissed Peggy, effective immediately, and that Peggy had accepted the job offer from Stark.

It had been a great dinner. They had gone to a nicer place than usual. Due to their jobs, they had had a late seating so they were almost alone in the restaurant.

They had danced. It was like their feet swept more easily across the floor, as if a weight had been lifted from them both. They were both driven by their careers, so the prospect of one of them losing their job had weighted heavily on them. None of them wanted to ask the other to give up their job, yet both were willing to give it up for the other. But how were they to judge whose career was more important than the other?

Now, a perfect solution had presented itself. Something that normally didn’t happen to him. It felt as if they had won an important battle in their relationship, and come out as victors.

After dancing, they had sat down for desserts. They were almost alone by now, but it didn’t matter. They hadn’t noticed anyone else for the whole night anyway.

He had decided to keep it simple and casually said: “We have one more thing to discuss, Director.”

“Is that so, Chief?” Peggy asked, smiling in anticipation of another joking remark to their current success.

Then he had quickly pushed back his chair and gone down on one knee. The change in her facial expression had said it all. He had actually been able to surprise her. He had bought a ring a month before, just waiting for the right moment, but constantly afraid that Peggy would somehow find out. Today felt perfect. And it was.

“Peggy, I love you. Everything and all of you. And I am so proud of you. I will never understand how the two of us, of all people, ended up like this, in love, but I do know that I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you, “Deep, nervous breath, “Margaret Elizabeth Carter, will you do me the honour of marrying me?”

Peggy had been breathless for a moment. In that moment, Jack was worried that maybe he had acted too soon. But then her eyes became teary and a smile spread on her face.

“Yes, Jack, I would love to marry you.”

-.-.-.-.-

So here he was. Finishing his one drink. Peggy’s bright smile on his mind. That was all he needed. He had become the kind of man who was be so fortunate to be with a woman like her. No matter how rough the road had been, no matter how heavily the Navy Cross laid in the bottom of his sock’s drawer, he knew that he was going to do everything he could be make up for it, and he would be a better man, all because of her.


	16. Perfect Imperfection

Peggy stood by the window, looking out at the roses. The wind made them sway, dance in the sunshine. 

She had expected to be nervous. Thinking about the first time she had been in this situation; how nervous she had been. How scared. Maybe because she knew that it was wrong.

Now she was calm. She would never had expected her life to turn out like this. How everything started to fall into place. With all the losses she had endured, she never thought that she would be happy again. Not like this.

She looked down at her ring. Nothing grand. Nothing fancy. And yet it was so precious to her. On the bad days, on the worst days, she could look down on that small golden band and immediately smile. She didn’t see the gold or the shimmering stone. She only saw Jack smiling up at her. Telling her that maybe the bad guys made things hard right now, but she was going to get them sooner or later. His girl always got her man.

And now she really did.

“Are you ready?”

Peggy turned to see her father. He looked amazing in his suit. He was happy. He was proud. All of it for her.

“More than ready,” She answered, a wide smile spreading on her lips.

She walked to him and took the arm that he offered.

“I love you, Pegs.”

“I love you too, dad.”

The music started resonating through the church. The doors where opened.

Though the church was full, she only saw the man at the opposite end of the aisle. His smile widened at the sight of her. And was that a bit of watery eyes, she spotted? Who was she to blame him? She looked just the same.

Her father took his first step, guiding her down towards her future husband.

And in that very first step she finally understood what Michael had seen in her, all those years ago. How he had seen how wrong it would have been for her to get married. It was not just about her having the potential to become an agent for England. It was not just about subjecting herself to the norm of society when it would not make her happy. It was not even about Fred. Steven would have been wrong too. Daniel as well.

This was about finding that one person who would never try to make you perfect. That one person who would accept you, flaws and all. The one person who saw the best in you, and helped you bring it out. The one person who would find your imperfections perfect.

And they had both finally found that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus info: Credit and appreciation to the artists who inspired my chapter titles. I have put a * by titles where the entire song was a source of inspiration for me. If you like, you can listen to the song to get a deeper meaning of the chapter.
> 
> Title: You Get What You Need / ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’ by The Rolling Stones *
> 
> Chapter 1: If It’s Worth Saving Me / ‘Savin’ Me’ by Nickelback *
> 
> Chapter 2: Listen to the Rain / ‘Listen to the Rain’ by Evanescence
> 
> Chapter 3: And Ask Me Your Questions / ‘The Scientist’ by Cold Play
> 
> Chapter 4: Do You Need Anybody? / ‘With A Little Help from My Friends’ by Beatles
> 
> Chapter 5: The Little Things Give You Away / ‘The Little Things Give You Away’ by Linkin Park
> 
> Chapter 6: You’re the Pretender / ‘Pretender’ by Foo Fighters
> 
> Chapter 7: How You Remind Me / ‘How You Remind Me’ by Nickelback
> 
> Chapter 8: If I Smile and Don’t Believe / ‘Hello’ by Evanescence *
> 
> Chapter 9: In a City that Doesn’t Sleep / ‘New York New York’ by Frank Sinatra
> 
> Chapter 10: The Mistake You Can’t Live Without / ‘The High Road’ by Three Days Grace
> 
> Chapter 11: Just the Way You Are / ‘The Way I Are’ by Timberland
> 
> Chapter 12: At the Beginning with You / ‘At the Beginning’ from Anastasia [Animated movie 1997]
> 
> Chapter 13: Don’t Let Them Know / ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen [Animated movie 2013]
> 
> Chapter 14: You Are the Only One / ‘Break In’ by Halestorm *
> 
> Chapter 15: Forget the Wrong that I’ve Done / ‘Leave Out All the Rest’ by Linkin Park
> 
> Chapter 16: Perfect Imperfection / Actually my own, and it was this expression that inspired this entire story, but while I was writing, Evanescence launched their video for their song by the same name. But I don’t mind sharing the title with them :)


End file.
